Chapter 8

The first hour of the trip back to Portland was spent listening to music. I was debating on the perfect way to tell Edward that I loved him. You would think that would be an easy thing to do. Nothing was ever easy for me. I worried about his reaction to my declaration. Would he just scoff at me and call me a silly girl? Would he fall to his knees and profess his undying love for me too? Honestly, both reactions scared the hell out of me. I wanted him to love me too, but that would give him the power to completely break me. I was already in too deep on my side of this relationship.

Tommy must have known me pretty well. As I was thinking about the upcoming “I love you,” Tommy sent me a text message.

B, have you done it yet?

I just knew he wouldn’t leave me alone until I called him and gave him all the intimate details of the entire ordeal.

T, not yet.

Not even a minute after I sent my reply, he answered me.

just do it!

Sigh. Stupid, annoying little brother.

bite me. i’m working on it.

He must’ve been happy with his annoyance because he didn’t reply to my last message.

“You okay, love?” Edward glanced at me, confused.

“I’m fine. Tommy is just being a little brother. So, are you going to tell me about your fishing trip with Charlie yesterday?”

“Not much to tell. We fished, talked a little, and came back when it got too late. Charlie is a man of few words.” Edward shrugged his shoulders like it was no big deal.

“Oh. I just thought something happened between you two. He seemed more accepting of you after you guys got home last night.”

“Bella, I spent an entire day in a boat in the middle of a lake with your father. He didn’t talk to me for the first hour. He just stared at me. It was rather scary. Then he decided to start talking. We talked about you, your past, and our relationship. I told him I know all about your past and am still crazy about you. After that he relaxed, and we had a good time just being guys. Nothing to worry about, love.” He grabbed my hand and kissed my knuckles.

We spent the rest of the drive talking about anything and everything. I loved how we could talk for hours. I kept hearing Tommy in the back of my head saying, “Just do it!” I knew it wouldn’t go away until I finally did. I couldn’t just blurt it out in the car. I’d decided I would do it at his house sometime this week.

***

Alice was bouncing in the doorway when we pulled up to the house. She didn’t give Edward a chance to turn the car off before she was at my door pulling me out of the car. I looked at Edward to save me. He shook his head and gave me his crooked grin. I glared back at him. I wouldn’t let him forget that.

Alice dragged me up to her room. Rose was already there and had just finished putting out the nail polish for manicures. I had a feeling Alice and Rose were not going to let me go until I told them every detail of our time in Forks. I was preparing myself for the torture when I received another text message from Tommy telling me to “just do it” again.

Alice grabbed my phone. “Bella, I am going to tell my brother to get over it. We have you until dinnertime. We have lots to talk about. Oh, I thought that was Edward, not Tommy.” Alice gave me a curious look when she read the text from Tommy. “What is Tommy talking about, ‘Just do it’”?

“Nothing.” I quickly grabbed my phone from Alice and started looking over the choice of nail polish trying to ignore their interest. That was a mistake.

“Bella, it is something. What is going on? You know you can tell Rose and me anything. Please.” Alice was giving me the Cullen pout. Resistance was futile.

I sighed in resignation. “I can't tell you. It is something personal that I have to work out on my own. I promise you to let you know once I have it worked out.”

“Bella, you can trust us. Anything said during girl talk stays between us. Now spill it.” Rose and Alice sat in front of me on Alice’s bed eager for what I had to say.

“Alice, I really can't. Edward really needs to be the first person I talk to about this. Like I said, once I work it and talk with Edward, you and Rose will be the first ones to know.” I was begging Alice to understand. Edward would never forgive me if I told her and Rose that I loved him before I told him.

“I know something big happened while you were in Forks, so spill.” Alice was on her knees with her hands folded begging me for the details. I told her all about our time in town, at Forks High during lunch, and what happened with Amy during the game.

“I can't believe she had the nerve to say that in front of you. What did Edward say?” Rose was appalled at the cattiness of my high school torturer.

“He just reassured me that I was the woman he wanted, and then he kissed me. I'm talking real kiss. It was indescribable.” Alice and Rose squealed so loud the guys came bursting through the door with panicked looks on their faces.

“What the hell was that?” all three of the guys asked at the same time.

Alice threw a pillow at them. “Go away. We are having girl time. You guys go play video games or something and leave us alone.” Rose shoved them back out of the door and locked it behind them.

“I’m so happy for you, Bella. Was that your fist kiss?” Alice was bouncing in place.

I blushed. “Yes. Edward is my first boyfriend. A few guys in Phoenix were interested in me before James, but nothing ever happened with them. Once we moved to Forks, I had too many issues thanks to James, so I was overlooked by guys.”

Alice and Rose each grabbed one of my hands. “Oh, Bella. I'm so glad you’ve given Edward a chance. You two are perfect together. I've never seen him this happy before. He has dated a few times, but he never got involved in a serious relationship. I think poor Esme was starting to think there was something wrong with him.” Rose had finished polishing my toes a burgundy color.

Alice’s eyes glazed over and a huge smile lit up her face. “I think you and Edward need some time without the family around. Rose and I will get everyone else out of the house so the two of you can have some time together without Emmett bugging you. He can be such a pain in the ass sometimes.”

“You are a genius, Alice. My parents have wanted all of us to have dinner at our house for a while now. I’ll call them and arrange a night this week.” Rose grabbed her phone, and Alice headed to her closet. Apparently Alice bought me clothes every time she and Rose went shopping and was stockpiling them in her closet until the right time to spring them on me.

“It’s all set. We will be going to my house tomorrow evening, and you and Edward will stay here for a romantic evening alone.” Rose had a smug smile on her face.

Alice stepped out of the closet and headed out of the room. She was gone a good fifteen minutes and returned with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “I filled Edward in on our little plan to give the two of you some alone time. He is making plans for a romantic evening here for the two of you. He said all you need to do is dress to kill and be ready when we leave for the Hales' house.”

The butterflies in my stomach went into overdrive. “I have the perfect dress for you to wear.” Alice disappeared into her closet and came out with a beautiful dark blue silk dress that fell just above my knees with a V-neck that had a criss-cross ruffle trim, and flutter sleeves. It was perfect.

“Alice, that is too much.”

“Nonsense, Bella. It’s perfect, and I bought it for you. You will wear it, or I will drag you to the mall tomorrow and buy you lots of clothes and shoes.” Alice played dirty, and she knew she had me. I reluctantly nodded my head to show my surrender.

We spent the rest of the afternoon planning my accessories, hair style, and make up for tomorrow. Alice and Rose thoroughly enjoyed playing Bella make over. I was so relieved when Esme knocked on the door informing us dinner was ready.

Once we left Alice’s room, Edward refused to let me out of his sight. He insisted on either holding my hand, or putting his arm around my waist or shoulders. I assumed he missed me as much as I missed him. Emmett kept giving Edward strange looks throughout dinner. He was making me nervous.

“Rose and Jasper, how are your parents doing?” Esme asked.

“They are doing great, Esme. Actually, Mom asked me to invite you, Carlisle, Emmett, and Alice to dinner at our house tomorrow night. She’s been wanting to get together for the last few weeks.” Rose looked at me and winked.

“We would love to have dinner there tomorrow. Edward, will you and Bella be fine on your own tomorrow?” Esme seemed sad that we were not invited.

“Mom, I would love an evening alone with Bella.” Edward squeezed my hand. Alice smirked at me. I blushed.

After dinner we decided to head up to Edward’s room. I was pretty tired from the early start and long drive. We quickly changed into our pajamas and cuddled together under his covers.

“Edward, what do you have planned tomorrow when everyone leaves?”

“It’s a surprise. We’ll be staying in, but I have everything taken care of. All you need to do is be ready for the evening by 6:30.” I’d started biting my lip. I was so nervous about tomorrow. We spent the next hour talking before I started to yawn and doze off. The last thing I remembered was Edward kissing the top of my head and pulling me closer to him.

***

I woke up before Edward the next day. I quietly whispered “I love you” and slipped out of bed without waking him then got ready for the day. He was still out cold when I stepped out of the bathroom. I quietly left the room and made my way to the kitchen. I could smell coffee, eggs, and bacon. My mouth was watering.

“Morning sleepy head.” Esme smiled at me and handed me a cup of coffee.

“Morning, Esme. Thanks. Everything smells wonderful. Can I help?”

“Actually, I have it all finished. I'm just waiting for everyone to make it downstairs.” Esme refilled her coffee mug, sat at the table, and motioned for me to join her. I gladly joined her.

“So, how did your weekend home go?”

“It was wonderful. My dad really likes Edward.” I couldn't help but smile big at the memory.

“That is wonderful, dear. I figured things went well. Edward seems like a different person now. I must say that I approve of the change. Love suits him.” I was in the middle of drinking my coffee and almost choked when Esme said that.

“Excuse me?”

“Bella, a mother knows these things. Edward loves you. Has he told you?” She was patting my hand while she spoke.

“No. How can you be sure?” I was trying my best not to get my hopes up.

“Like I said, a mother knows. He has a permanent smile on his face. His face completely lights up when you are around. All he did was mope around while Alice and Rose were holding you hostage yesterday. I have never seen him act this way. He has dated many girls, but he has never brought them home. He definitely has never been to their home to meet their parents. I'm not even sure if he lasted more than two dates with a girl before. Trust me.”

“Why is my mother telling you to trust her, love?” Edward wrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck.

“We were just discussing my being held hostage by Alice and Rose yesterday. She told me there is nothing I can do to prevent it, so deal with it.” I winked at Esme, and she just smirked at me.

“Unfortunately, Alice is a force of nature that refuses to be stopped. I promise, after today she will not hold you hostage again.” Edward grabbed a cup of coffee and enough breakfast for the both of us and sat next to me.

We enjoyed a quiet breakfast for about ten minutes before Emmett came barreling into the kitchen. He was giving Edward those strange looks again. I looked at Edward curious. “Why does Emmett keep giving you those looks?”

“Don't worry about it. He’s just being a pain in the ass brother. He takes his role seriously.” Edward rolled his eyes at Emmett and gave him a death glare.

“Hey, I can't help it if you’re easy to annoy.” Emmett patted me on the head and attacked the food.

Tommy started with the “just do it” texts again. Edward looked at me curious when I sighed and sent Tommy another “bite me” reply. “Tommy is just being an annoying little brother again. Don't worry about it.” I kissed his cheek and headed back to his room.

We spent the rest of the morning just relaxing in Edward's room, reading and listening to music. It was heaven. Unfortunately, 2:00 came too fast, and I was whisked away into Alice's Chamber of Beauty Torture. I couldn’t believe it would take four hours to get ready for a date. I was terrified of what they would do to me.

In reality, it only took two hours to fix my hair and make up. The extra two hours were needed for the girls to have time to gossip. They took their girl talk seriously. I learned more than I wanted to know about all of their firsts from dates to kisses to sex. I didn't think I could ever look Jasper and Emmett in the eye again. I was in shock by the time 6:00 came around. Luckily by that time we were too busy getting dressed to bother with more girl talk.

At 6:30 there was a knock on Alice's door. Jasper was there to let the girls know the rest of them were ready to leave and Edward was waiting for me downstairs. I was so nervous. I had no clue what Edward had planned. At least we would be staying at the house.

We left Alice's room, and Alice and Rose were at the bottom of the stairs before I had to courage to walk toward the stairs. I stopped at the top of the stairs with my eyes on my feet watching every step I took. Alice had me wear ridiculous heels. I looked up when I heard a gasp. Edward was in shock.

I slowly made my way down the stairs. Edward met me at the bottom step and wrapped his arms tightly around me. He leaned into my ear and whispered, “You look amazing, love.” I blushed and whispered my thanks back to him.

“You look lovely, dear.” Esme pulled me into a hug and whispered, “Trust me, he loves you.” She pulled away and winked at me.

“Thank you so much, Esme.”

“Edward, we will be at the Hales if you need anything. I'm sure we will be late. I can't remember a dinner there that didn’t end before two in the morning.” Carlisle patted Edward on the back as he held the door for everyone else to leave for the evening.

“Love, please allow me to lead you to dinner.” Edward grabbed my hand and led me toward the dining room. I was surprised to see the table set with candles and flowers. There were already two places set with a salad, manicotti, and bread sticks. Everything smelled wonderful. Edward pulled my chair out for me. “Edward, this is amazing. Did you cook?” I raised an eyebrow at him.

“No. I can't cook to save my life. Mom helped me with dinner. She is an amazing cook. If you like it, be sure to let her know.”

“I definitely will.”

Dinner was amazing. We enjoyed our usual easy conversation. I wondered if we would ever run out of things to talk about. I sure hoped not. Esme had prepared a wonderful tiramisu for us to share. Edward moved next to me and fed me dessert. I couldn't wait to see what else Edward had planned since dinner had turned out this wonderfully.

When we had finished dessert, Edward grabbed my hand and led me into the living room. I hadn't noticed before, but all of the furniture had been moved against the wall, leaving an open space on the floor. Edward grabbed a remote off the coffee table and started a CD. “May I have this dance, love?”

“Edward, I can't dance,” I said with a sad tone. “I can't even walk across a flat surface without tripping over air.”

“Bella, I can dance. Just hold on and I promise not to let you fall.” Edward pulled me close to him and held me tight. He twirled me around the living room. It was amazing. Just being in Edward's arms was amazing, but dancing with him was even better. There was a new connection between us that was indescribable.

Edward slowed down and started to sway in place with the music. He pulled back and looked at me. “See, you can dance.”

I rolled my eyes at him. “No, you can dance. I just know how to hold on tight.”

“I think that’s my favorite part of dancing. You holding me tight.” Edward leaned down and gave me a passionate kiss. Kissing Edward just got better with every kiss. We finally pulled away and he placed his forehead against mine. “Bella.” Edward looked deep in my eyes.

“Yes?”

“I.” He looked so conflicted. It broke my heart.

“Edward, you can tell me anything. What’s giving you such a hard time?” I brushed his cheek with the back of my hand.

He put his hands on each side of my face and said, “Bella, I love you.”

I stopped breathing. I couldn't believe he just said it. Was I dreaming?

“Bella, please say something,” he pleaded.

I took in a deep breath, looked deep into his eyes and said, “I love you too, Edward.”

He smiled the biggest smile I had ever seen on his face, pulled me closer, and kissed me. It started out sweet and slow, but it quickly turned passionate. My whole body was on fire. I couldn't believe how wonderful it felt to be in love and have those feelings returned.

“Bella, you make me so happy. I can't imagine a day without you by my side. I love you now and forever.”

We spent the next few hours dancing and kissing. It was the best night of my life. I just wished my mom was alive to share it with me. I had a feeling Esme would be more than happy to hear the story of tonight. I hoped she didn't mind being my surrogate mother.

We headed to Edward's room around midnight. After what Carlisle had said, I knew we were alone for at least two more hours. We both changed into our pajamas and curled up together under the covers.

We kept whispering “I love you” between kisses. Each kiss was getting more heated. Edward would pull me closer and then his hands started roaming. I froze when his hands touched bare skin on my stomach.

“I'm sorry, love. I got carried away. Maybe we should just go to sleep now.”

“Edward, we both got carried away. I want more than anything to do everything with you. You are my first boyfriend, my first kiss, my first and only love, and I want you to be my first of everything else. I just need a little time to work up to everything.” I kissed his cheek and snuggled into his chest.

“Bella, I know. You are my first and only love, too. I also want you to my first everything else. I promise to take it as slow as you want. I am not going anywhere. Sleep now. I love you.” Edward kissed the top of my head.

“I love you, too.” I drifted off to sleep in a total state of euphoria.

***

I woke up before Edward again. I slipped out and found Esme in the kitchen once again making breakfast. She had just started, so I was able to jump in and help her.

“Don't you look happy this morning, dear.” Esme had a smug grin on her face.

“Yes, actually, I am very happy this morning.” I couldn't stop the smile that was coming.

“Care to tell me why?” Esme grabbed two coffee mugs from the cabinet and handed me a fresh cup of heaven.

“Edward and I said 'I love you' last night.”

Esme grabbed me into a tight hug. “That is so wonderful. I knew he was in love. I couldn't be happier with his choice. You two are perfect for each other.”

“Thank you, Esme. Can I ask you something?”

“Of course, dear.”

“You know my mom is dead.” She nodded. “Well, last night I was really wishing she was here for me to tell all about how wonderful last night was. I was wondering if you mind filling in for my mom. I really miss her and sometimes I just need a mom.” I couldn't stop the tears that started to fall.

Esme pulled me into a tighter hug. “Oh, Bella. I would love to be there for you like a mother. It would be such an honor. I already think of you like a daughter.”

“Thank you.” We finished making the waffles and sat at the table having a mother/daughter talk about everything that happened last night. I should have felt awkward talking with my boyfriend's mother about kissing him and all of my feelings about him, but it never was like that with Esme. She was so excited to hear everything I had to say. She oohed and aahed in all the right places. I left out the details of the rest of the firsts we were waiting to experience together. I wasn't quite ready to go there with her yet. I had a feeling that eventually, we would end up in that conversation.

“What are the two most important women in my life talking about?” Edward asked as he sat next to me.

“We were just having a mother/daughter talk,” Esme beamed.

Edward looked down at me with more love than I have ever seen in his eyes before. “Really?”

“Yes. Esme has agreed to be my mom. I really miss my mom, and she agreed to be there in any capacity I wanted.” I started tearing up again.

Edward pulled me into a hug and whispered, “You don't know how happy that makes me, love. I can tell you that Mom is overjoyed.”

“I'm glad. I really needed that talk this morning. She is a wonderful mother. I love you, Edward.” Edward kissed me and responded, “I love you, too.”

“OH. MY. GOD. Did I just hear the “L” word come from both of you?” Alice was running into the kitchen at breakneck speed. I blushed and nodded my head.

“Bout time, little brother.” Emmett smacked Edward on the back a little harder than necessary.

“Is that what that text from Tommy was about yesterday? The one you said you needed to talk to Edward about first?” Alice asked.

“Yes. Speaking of Tommy, I need to let him know. I'm surprised he hasn't started with the texts yet.” I grabbed my phone and headed into the living room.

“B, please tell me you finally did it.”

“Good morning to you too, little brother. Yes, I did. Of course he beat me to it.”

“I'm not surprised. You are such a chicken. I didn't think you would ever do it. That’s why I kept bugging you about it.”

“Thanks for that.”

“Anytime. That’s what stupid, annoying little brothers are for.” I could hear the sarcasm in his voice.

I spent a good fifteen minutes telling him all the details about dinner, dancing and the declarations. I conveniently left out all of the making out in his bed and promises of more to come. There’s only so much you can divulge to your little brother.

We spent the rest of the fall break relaxing. I avoided three shopping trips with Alice and Rose. Edward refused to let me out of his sight the rest of the time we were at his house. I was so thankful for that. I was sad to see the week end. I wasn't ready to face the real world again. I didn't know how I was going to make it a whole class without Edward by my side. He always made me feel so safe.

We made it back to the dorm late Sunday afternoon. I was ready to curl up in my bed with Edward. I froze when I found a note on my bed.

Sugar,

I have missed you this week. I hope you enjoyed your time with the Chief and Tommy. I was quite surprised by the time Edward and the Chief spent on the lake. I've never seen the Chief that receptive to someone new before. I don't care for the way Edward always touches you or has his lips on you. It is also annoying to see him in your bed every night. I may have to fix that soon.

I lost track of you when you left Forks. Where were you? I don't like not knowing where you are at all times.

I hope you don't mind. I took the liberty of ridding your life of those to nuisances. They were irritating me with their threats and bad mouthing you. Soon, we shall be together and you will not have to worry about petty girls like that.

All my love,

James

I didn't know how to respond to that. James had followed us to Forks. He was watching us the whole time. This letter was an admission to the murders of Tanya and Lauren. I feared for Edward's life after reading James's dislike for his affections and sleeping in my bed. At least he didn’t know where Edward lived. Maybe I still had a safe haven in this world.

We called the police. They finally made it to the dorm an hour later. They collected the note for evidence. James made no direct reference with names about the “nuisances” he took care of for me. The detective assured me that we have around the clock undercover police watching our dorm and to not be surprised if they notice someone following us. They wanted to be prepared for anything James would try to do.

Edward and I curled up in bed after the police left. I knew I could never be happy. James would never allow it. I would have to live in fear and constantly looking over my shoulder until either he or I was dead. I had a feeling I had been James's goal from the beginning. I drifted off to sleep wrapped securely in my love's arms, pondering ways to lure James away from the ones I loved and out of our lives forever.