Chapter 5

Everyone settled onto the floor and looked at me expectantly. Edward squeezed my hand and urged me to start.

“My parents were divorced when I was ten. My mom, Tommy, and I moved to Phoenix. Life was great. I loved my school and I had a lot of friends. My mother dated, but she never got serious with anyone. When I was thirteen, Renee met James. My mom was 31 and James was 22. She was head over heels for him. He would send her flowers every Monday. He said that every beautiful woman should always be surrounded by beautiful things.

“When Renee told James about Tommy and me, he was anxious to meet us. We actually didn’t scare him away. The revelation of us was usually the kiss of death for Renee's relationships. After we met James, he insisted on including us on every date. He seemed too good to be true.

“Things were great with James for a year. He had moved in with us and continued to be the adoring boyfriend who loved Renee and her kids. He changed after my fourteenth birthday, though. He would hug me and would not want to let me go. I would find him staring at me while we watched a movie or ate dinner. He started giving me flowers every week just like my mom. He always sent me a dozen blush roses. He said they reminded him of my beautiful blush. This behavior continued for three months.

“James crossed the line at Christmas that year. I woke up Christmas morning, and he was standing over my bed staring at me. I started to scream, but he covered my mouth before I could get a sound out. He told me he had a special gift for me and I needed to open it now. He had given me a red embroidered baby doll with matching G-string. I was shocked. I didn't know what to say to him, so I thanked him and made my way to the restroom. It was the only way I could think to get away from him.

“All day he would look at me with lust and longing. That night, I pulled my mom into my room and showed her my gift. She was furious. She said he had been very cold with her the past few months, and she wasn't sure what she had done. She threw James out and told him she never wanted to see him again. He left quietly but gave me a lingering look as he walked out the door.”

The tears were flowing down my face in a steady stream. I stopped for a moment to try to regain control of my emotions. I looked at Edward and received the encouragement I needed to continue my story.

“January passed without any further contact from James. Life was back to normal, but Mom still hadn’t started dating again. She had fallen hard for James and was completely destroyed by his actions.

“Valentine’s Day was the start of the nightmare for me. It started out like a typical day for me. School was nothing exciting, and I was expecting a quiet night at home with Tommy and Mom. Tommy and I made it home before Mom. Nothing seemed out of place, but I had a strange feeling the moment I walked through the door. It felt like someone was watching me. I walked into my room and froze. Sitting on my desk was a dozen blush roses and a note. I regained my composure and picked up the note and read it. Sugar, I have missed you. You will forever be my only Valentine. We will be together soon enough. Always, James.

“I started screaming, and Tommy came running into my room. He found me curled up in a ball on my floor crying uncontrollably. He saw the roses and the note and called Mom. She immediately came home and called the police. We filed a restraining order against James and changed all of the locks.

“After that day, every little sound would make me jump. I lived in fear of James jumping out of the shadows. Tommy refused to let me go anywhere alone. I continued to come home to flowers and notes on Mondays. It was pointless to change the locks. He was obviously skilled in picking locks. He no longer signed his name to the notes, but always called me ‘Sugar’ in them.

“The only contact from James for the rest of February and the beginning of March were the flowers. I was a complete mess. I couldn‘t eat or sleep. Anytime I would fall asleep, I had horrible nightmares of James sneaking in my room. Spring Break that year was when my life was completely changed.”

I again had to pause to compose myself. Alice and Rose were in tears. They were obviously affected by my story. Unfortunately they did not know that the worst was yet to come.

“Mom had taken the week off to spend time with Tommy and me. We weren’t going on vacation for the week. We just planned on spending the week together and doing things as a family. I was looking forward to the time with my mom and brother.

“Monday morning we had planned to go to the zoo. We loved doing things like that with Mom. We had packed a picnic lunch and made our way there. We had a blast goofing off, wandering around and checking out the animals. Around noon we decided to have our picnic. Tommy and I grabbed a table at the picnic area while Mom went to grab our lunch. Ten minutes passed, and she never came back. Tommy went looking for her. Another ten minutes passed, and Tommy didn’t come back. I decided to see what the problem was. When I made it to the car, I noticed Mom and Tommy sitting in the back seat. I opened the door to ask them what was going on, and then everything went black.

“I woke up and had no clue what was going on. I was in the ballet studio where I used to take lessons.”

“You took ballet?” Alice asked with a surprised look.

“Yes. Mom thought it would help improve my balance and coordination. It really didn’t. After six months, I ended up with a sprained ankle, a broken wrist, and finally a broken leg. The broken leg was the deciding factor that I would be a klutz for life,” I said, shrugging my shoulders.

“I’m sorry I interrupted. Please continue,” Alice apologized.

“Anyway, it was completely dark in the studio. I heard my mom crying, so I knew I wasn’t alone. I struggled to my feet and started going toward the sound of her sobs. I was about fifteen feet away from her when a lamp was turned on. I saw my mom tied to a chair in the middle of the room, blindfolded with her red silk scarf. James was standing behind her whispering something in her ear.

“I had no clue where Tommy was. I was terrified for him and my mom. I didn’t know what James was capable of. James threw me back in the corner. He told me that he wasn’t ready for me yet. The whole time he was with me, my mom was begging for him to not hurt me and to let me go. He just laughed at her.

“James made his way to the piano and removed one of the piano wires. He slowly walked toward my mother, winding the piano wire around his hands. He stepped behind her and started whispering something in her ear. She had a look of terror on her face at whatever he was telling her. He lifted the wire to wrap around my mother’s neck, and she started screaming and told me to run.

“I could not believe what I was witnessing. James was killing my mother. I saw the blood trickling down her neck as the wire cut into her throat. James had a euphoric look on his face as he slowly choked the life from my mother. He was fully immersed in his pleasure of killing my mother and it gave me the chance to get away.

“I ran into the main entrance and found Tommy tied up behind the reception desk. I quickly untied him and we stumbled our way outside. It was dark and I had no idea what time it was. We ran as fast as we could to find help. The residents of the first house we came to were shocked to have someone knocking on their door so late at night. It was one in the morning. We called the police and waited for them to arrive.

“Fifteen minutes later, the police showed up and listened to my story. They called for back up to meet them at the ballet studio. Unfortunately, it was too late. They found my mother dead and no sign of James. They found a set of unknown fingerprints and hair samples throughout the crime scene. James wasn’t in the system. I found a few pictures of James to give the police. They had no luck finding him. I found another note from James in my room once we finally made it home. Sugar, I’m disappointed our fun had to abruptly come to an end. I am far from done with you. You will be mine forever. Always, James.”

“Charlie, my dad, was in Phoenix the next day. He decided to bury mom in Forks, so we could visit her anytime we wanted. He made all the necessary arrangements, and we packed up and moved to Forks the next day.”

I looked at everyone in the room. They had silent tears falling down their faces. I know they were never expecting where my story would end. Unfortunately, that was not the end.

“Oh, Bella, I’m so sorry about your mom. I can’t believe you had to witness that.” Alice had jumped up and pulled me into a tight hug. Alice did not resume her seat next to Jasper. She stayed by my side, holding my hand.

“Thank you, Alice. I guess now you can understand the severity of my nightmares.” Alice lowered her head and nodded.

“My story isn’t finished yet. Tommy and I were now in Forks with Charlie. My life was a mess. I wouldn’t sleep or eat. I sat on my bed curled up and crying most of the time. Anytime I heard the word ‘sugar’ I would freak out. After a week of this, Charlie couldn’t take it anymore. He made me an appointment with a child psychologist. I spent the next year in therapy dealing with everything James put me through. My therapist was the one who suggested I write in a journal to help deal with my problems. Dr. Averett didn’t believe in the use of drugs, so she helped me with calming exercises to control my anxiety attacks.

“Tommy had no problems fitting in at school. Of course, he was unconscious for most of the James incident, so he wasn’t affected in the same way I was. He went through the usual grieving process, and life went back to normal for him. He easily made friends at his new school. The only problem with his social life was his crazy sister.

“He was still in junior high, but in a small town like Forks, gossip trickles down the different schools. The kids at school loved to make fun of the new crazy girl. The remainder of the school year was sheer torture. I shied away from anyone’s touch. I would burst into tears when anyone would mention their mother.

“My worst episode happened after my first month at school. I was walking into the cafeteria for lunch. I had just sat at my usual table to read when I heard someone say ‘sugar’ and I freaked out. I started screaming and crying. I was rushed the nurse’s office. It took me two hours to fully calm down.

“After that, I was the social outcast. No one would come near me. I spent the summer going to therapy five days a week. With Dr. Averett’s help, I was able to start the new school year a changed person. I no longer shied away from other students. I actually talked with a few.

“Tommy was a freshman and in high school with me that year. I was no longer the crazy girl, just the loner. I didn’t seek out any friends, but I didn’t avoid anyone either. I did my best to not affect Tommy at school. I would sneak off to the bathroom if I felt overwhelmed by anything. I didn’t want any of my issues to hinder him. It worked too. He was quite popular.

“Tommy was my rock these past three years. He was the only person who truly understood me and what I had been through. He was my protector. He slept in my room many nights to help keep the nightmares away. I felt like such a burden to him. I was so excited when I received my scholarship and was able to attend the school of my choice. This was my chance to break away and allow Tommy to enjoy his last two years of high school.”

I felt so much better after telling my new friends the truth about my past. They did not look at me with pity but with love and compassion. It was such a relief not to see pity.

“Bella, thank you so much for telling us what happened with James. I know it must have been very difficult. Please understand that we are here for anything you need. We will do our best to keep you safe from James.” Rose pulled me into a tight hug.

“James won’t get near you. He will have to go through Edward, Jasper, and me first. No one will hurt my new little sister.” Emmett put his arms around both Rose and me. His bear hugs always made me feel safe.

“We’ll continue to always have one of us guys with you. There is no way we will let him get near you.” Jazz squeezed my shoulder and then pulled Alice into his arms.

“Thanks, guys. James has already proven that locks will not stop him from getting in my room, so I really don’t know how you will stop him if he wants to get to me.”

“Bella, trust us. He will regret it if he attempts to get near you. I just found you, and I refuse to let him take you away from me.” Edward pulled me into his arms and held me tight. I believed there was nothing that could hurt me when I was in his protective arms.

***

The guys continued their routine of Bella-sitting. Edward took Tommy’s example and started camping out in my room. Thankfully, this kept the dreams away. I felt terrible that he was sleeping on my floor and not in his comfortable bed. He was stubborn and assured me that he grew up camping, so sleeping on the floor in a sleeping bag was no problem.

It was Friday, and I had made it through the week without contact from James. Edward and I grew closer. He was so sweet and patient. We would hold hands, hug, and he would kiss me on my cheek or on top of my head. It was time for the uncomfortable talk of my lack of experience.

“Edward, can we stay in my room and talk tonight?” I blushed at the thought of the upcoming conversation and looked at my feet.

Edward placed his fingers under my chin and raised my head and smirked at me. “Please don’t hide your beautiful face from me. I’m curious to know what you want to talk about that made you blush like that.”

We brought Chinese takeout back to my room and got ready to stay in for the night.

“Okay, Bella, we’ve eaten and are in pajamas, so let‘s talk.” Edward sat back against the wall and pulled me by his side.

“This is hard for me to talk about, so please bear with me.” My face was bright red.

“Take your time, love.”

“Well, you know the last three years I haven’t had friends, so of course I haven’t had a boyfriend either. When I lived in Phoenix I had plenty of friends, but never a boyfriend. I have never kissed a guy. You are my first boyfriend, and I’m a little scared.” My last sentence was barely a whisper.

“I understand, Bella. I was thinking about this after you told us the full story about James. Please don’t be scared. I only want to spend time with you, and I love that we can hold hands and that I can hold you in my arms. I will not rush you into doing anything you are not comfortable with.” I threw my arms around Edward and kissed his cheek.

“Edward, I know you cannot be comfortable sleeping on my floor. Since you insist on being in my room at night, you can sleep in my bed with me. I trust you.” Edward pulled me back to look into my eyes. I know he saw no fear in my eyes.

“Bella, I am perfectly fine sleeping on the floor. You don’t have to do this.” Edward was too good to be true.

“I want you to. Nothing will happen but sleeping, so there are no worries.” I squeezed Edward’s hand to reassure him this is what I wanted.

We settled into my bed, and he wrapped me in his arms. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt this safe and comfortable. Edward rubbed my back and hummed me that beautiful tune again. I quickly drifted into a blissful sleep.

***

I woke up the next morning with a huge smile on my face. I didn’t have nightmares. I dreamt of Edward and me. We were in a meadow full of beautiful flowers. We were lying on our backs finding shapes in the clouds. He sat up and leaned over me and looked deep in my eyes. He glanced at my lips and then back to my eyes. He slowly leaned closer to my lips. His lips had barely grazed mine when I woke up. I was so frustrated.

“Please tell me I have something to do with that glorious smile on your face, love.” Edward was stroking my cheek with the back of his hand.

“Of course. Waking up in your arms is more than enough to make me have this smile.” I blushed at the thought of my dream.

“Any dreams last night?” He had a glimmer of mischief in his eyes.

“No nightmares,” I tried not to elaborate.

“Okay, no nightmares, but what about other dreams,” he smirked.

“Why do you ask?” He knew something and wasn’t telling me.

“You talk in your sleep.” It was a statement, not a question.

“Oh, god. I’m afraid to ask what you heard.” I buried my face into his chest.

“You said my name quite a lot. You also said ‘it’s beautiful’ and ‘kiss me.’ Nothing too bad.” Edward smiled that glorious crooked grin I loved so much.

I’m glad he couldn’t see my face because it was bright red by now. I gave in and told Edward all about my dream. He seemed rather smug.

“Sounds like the meadow was beautiful. Of course it couldn’t compare to your beauty. Nothing could.” Edward glanced at my lips just like in my dreams. Was I ready for this? I didn’t have time to think about it. Edward lowered his lips and lightly grazed my lips. It was a chaste kiss, but it sent an electrical shock throughout my body.

“I think I could handle waking up like that every morning.” My fingers were touching my lips where his had just been.

“Come on beautiful, we need to get ready for the day. You have some more research to finish for your paper.”

We spent the next four hours in the library. Edward worked on his homework while I worked on my paper for English. He would follow me into the stacks every time I needed a new reference book. I didn’t mind. He would steal a kiss each time we were alone. He kept the kisses chaste, but I didn’t think I was ready for anything more intense yet. I finally finished my paper, and we decided to head back to the dorm and spend the evening watching movies with the gang.

We made our way back to the dorm, but we couldn’t get into the lobby. There were police everywhere. Edward found a campus security officer to get some answers. Apparently one of the students was found dead in the stairwell. The police were not giving out any specific details about the murder. I looked across the lobby and saw Rose in hysterics talking to one of the officers. Emmett spotted us and walked toward us.

“Edward, it was Tanya. That is all they will tell us. They’ve called her family. They will be here later this evening. Rose is freaked out.” Emmett was obviously shaken too.

Rose finally finished talking with the officers and ran straight for Emmett. She collapsed into his arms.

“Rose, what happened?” Edward asked cautiously.

After a few minutes, Rose had calmed down enough to tell us what was going on. “I don’t know. We just got back from visiting my house and were stopped from entering the stairwell. One of the officers pulled me to the side and started asking me questions about Tanya. Apparently, our RA pointed me out as her roommate. I didn’t have much to tell them. I hadn’t seen Tanya in a few days. I figured she was staying in Kate’s room. They said she was murdered. They didn’t tell me anything else. They aren’t ready to release any details.”

The police finally cleared everyone to return to their rooms thirty minutes after Edward and I arrived at the dorm. We slowly made our way upstairs. The guys refused to let any of us be alone. Jasper and Alice stayed in her room together, and Rose and Emmett stayed together in Jasper and Edward’s room. Rose didn’t want to sleep in the room she shared with Tanya. Edward stayed with me like usual.

Something about Tanya being murdered was bugging me. I wasn’t sure what it was yet. I just know I was getting a very bad feeling about all of this. It was almost like déjà vu. Maybe a good night’s sleep would clear my head and allow me to put the pieces together that kept eluding me. I was glad Edward would be in my room tonight. I climbed in bed and cuddled up close to him. He held me tight and hummed me to sleep.